Behold the bitter exodus
From down beneath the bridge
As the yuppies and the hipsters
Quit their lofts and move away
Snap an auto-focused black-and-white
Of this heartbreaking scene
A heartbreaking scene of staggering genius -
If I may.

And they sing:
Nevermore shall a bridge darken my door
We're on craigslist searching for
Someplace new to gentrify
Till then, we can only hope
They've still got room down in the Slope
For the strollers we'll be pushing by and by

Now my girlfriend's typed her last
Paragraph for Conde Nast.
Who will pay her by the word
To holiday in Mexico?
And my next door neighbor cried
On the night his hedge fund died.
Anybody want a Ridgeback
Or a share in J Condo?

And we sing:
Nevermore shall a bridge darken my door
We're on craigslist searching for
Someplace new to gentrify
Till then, we can only hope
They've still got room down in the Slope
For the strollers we'll be pushing by and by

Oh Dumbo beach, we've run aground
No IT work to be found
No one buys my shit on Etsy
And my gal's name still ain't Plath
So we're hopping on our Vespas
Loading up and hauling out
In our precious shawls and hats
We look totally Grapes of Wrath
YAY!

Nevermore shall a bridge darken my door
We're on craigslist searching for
Someplace new to gentrify
Till then, we can only hope
They've still got room down in the Slope
For the strollers we'll be pushing by and by

Goodbye McSweeney's
Goodbye Grizzly Bear
Actually, we were just pretending
To like Grizzly Bear
But I'll sure miss being an artist
I'll sure miss being free
And I sure will miss my trust fund
And production company
Stroll the cobblestones reflecting
On these precious months we've spent
Down here at the intersection of This American Life and Rent

One day I will come back as a tourist
Take clever photos of the skyline
Juxtaposed with garbage trucks
I'll line up for Brooklyn Ice Cream in the winter
And wait two hours in the rain
For a pizza pie that sucks

Then I'll sing:
Nevermore shall a bridge darken my door
We're on craigslist searching for
Someplace new to gentrify
Till then, we can only hope
They've still got room down in the Slope
For the strollers we'll be pushing by and by
For the strollers we'll be pushing by and by
For the strollers we'll be pushing, bye-bye