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Shoot The Piano Player

by Jed Davis

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  • 8-Track Tape
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1.
This is crap A piece of crap I churn it out I dump it out You lap it up You eat it whole, yeah - 19 dollars for this piece of crap You'll take it. Pay for me Make me sexy Buy me groupies High school kids are stupid You can trick them Use them Look I'm what you wanted all along. I love this song How do you do it? Oh, you're so angry Just like me You know the pain Middle-class white rage, yeah - Mom and dad won't let me out past midnight I'm in hell Sell to me Say you hate me Give me bootlegs You're official spokesman for my G-G-G-G-Generation Talking with your mouth full - BANG! This is a wonderful time to be a rock n' roller Pray that your connections are as good as mine Watch me put my grocery list to music Watch it sell a million copies Watch the kids find poetry in every line Yeah, this is crap A piece of crap I churn it out I dump it out You lap it up Swallow it whole, yeah - Silly rabbit, you are what you eat Don't touch me I know I'll get a kicking drum and bass loop I'll make some noises on a keyboard Hey back off, buddy, I'm an artist Now I'm on the cutting edge Yeah.
2.
Chain Letter 03:25
Number a paper from 1 to 7. Write your favorite numbers next to 1 and 2. Write the names of two people next to 3 and 7. And the names of friends next to 4, 5, and 6. Now make a wish. 1 is the number of people you must send this to In the number of days you wrote next to 2 Number 3 is your true love Number 4 is the person who you care about the most Number 5 is the one who knows you best Number 6 is your lucky star Number 7 is the person who you like But just can't work things out with What did you wish for when you passed this on? What number did I come up? You ought to know better Than to send me chain letters You're gonna end up with a new boyfriend Right now, somebody is proud of you Right now, somebody is thinking of you Right now, somebody is caring for you Right now, somebody misses you Right now, somebody wants to talk to you Right now, somebody wants to be with you Right now, somebody needs you To send this out to them What did you wish for when you passed this on? Did you know that I would wish for you? You ought to know better Than to send me chain letters You're gonna end up with a new boyfriend Number a mix tape from 1 to whatever Write the name of this song next to number 1 Now write the songs that remind you of the people you love And the names of the friends that they remind you of Now make a wish and send it to: 10 people - it'll come true in a year 20 people - it'll come true in a month 30 people - it'll come true in a year 40 people - it'll come true right now 10 people - you'll be happy for a week 20 people - you'll be happy for a month 30 people - you'll be happy for a year 40 people - you'll be happy forever What did you wish for when you passed this on? What number did I come up? You ought to know better Than to send me chain letters You're gonna end up with a new boyfriend.
3.
Every rocker knows That girl at all the shows Passing out her business card Is just some fluff to be ignored She's in promotions She's only here to kick up noise And make out with skinny boys Whoever wants to take a pass At some entry-level ass With no emotions You can't do shit for my act You cannot sign me They don't know who you are In A&R But still I pray you'll find me In your heart As I watch you throw yourself At some shitty band Who won't ever understand How important you are To them getting this far Yeah, the girl in promotions One side of the stage Is the only real rock star In all of L.A.
4.
Did you think all the folks in your hometown were right When they lip-served the legend you might become? Did you think this here song would end up on your wall in no time Dressed in glass, chrome and platinum? Did you think this would net you the girl of your dreams? Did you think this would make you a zillionaire? Tell me, big man, how's all that shit worked out so far? Dozen years and does anyone care 'bout it now? Don't answer now We'd better take this up again some other time Because the next words out your mouth Will be a lie A lie A lie Watch in horror as all your old bandmates and pals Nest and spawn in their parents' suburbia Check your watch by the reddening sun As it sets on the only ones who've ever heard of ya Time to water it down, dumb it down, dumb it down Take a coward's piss all over everything Do you care what some shit blogger says? Do you care what 14-year-olds think about anything now? Don't answer now We'd better take this up again some other time Because the next words out your mouth Will be a lie A lie A lie Did you think this would net you the girl of your dreams? Did you think this would make you a zillionaire? Tell me, big man, how's all that shit worked out so far? Dozen years and doesn't anyone even care? Yeah I know we're both wrong, but you're also a dick So I'm finding it hard to go quietly You can lie to your family, your friends and yourself all you want But don't you fuckin lie to me now Don't answer now We'd better take this up again some other time Because the next words out your mouth Will be a lie, a lie A lie, a lie A lie, a lie A lie.
5.
A full-on celebration A hundred invitiations I had the cooler stocked by 4pm The mixtape done by 5 I cleaned the whole place up with Arty Ordered pizza from Lombardi's Yeah, it was quite the fuckin party Until the guests arrived Now I hate all the people at my party My heart is full of sorrow My apartment full of lame Every loser in six counties Is guzzling down my beer And the hotties I invited never came. There are eighteen Trekkies in my breakfast nook Talking really loud about comic books They're about to get their asses kicked By a bunch of surly punks It's a big old fuckin trainwreck Somebody tie the noose 'round my neck 'Cause I blew my entire paycheck Just to get these assholes drunk Now I hate all the people at my party My heart is full of sorrow My apartment full of lame Every loser in six counties Is guzzling down my beer And the hotties I invited never came. A full-on celebration A hundred invitations The desperate lengths I go to wind up Playing with myself Somebody man the stereo The TV set remote control You all just make yourself at home I'm going someplace else Now I hate all the people at my party My place is full of sausage My face is red with shame Every loser in six counties Is guzzling down my beer And the hotties I invited never came.
6.
Despite 02:07
Despite the guitar that you brandish before you As you tell off a crowd that's content to ignore you And despite your soul searching, and the ingots of wisdom Which disguise all the shit that's pent up in your system And the old man who pays for the place where you live And the woman who pays for the demos you give To the promising people in the back of your cab As you pray that the next fare will take the wheel From your gifted little hands And despite the guitar that you brandish before you As you tell off a crowd that's content to ignore you Whose every yes means they'll never forget you And every no means they're all out to get you And despite the club owners who won't have you back And despite all the girlfriends who won't have you back And the buddies who've seen way too much of your back As you walk out in another huff and swear That you're never ever coming back And despite the guitar that you brandish before you As you tell off a crowd that's just there to ignore you And despite your frustrations and your bitter demands The mistakes you project, and your uninformed plans You will still be surprised when we all move on And there's nary a sniffle for you when you're gone 'Cause despite your falsetto And the friends you suck dry The blond in your hair And the blue in your eye The world wasn't waiting for you to save it The world wasn't waiting for you.
7.
Duran Duran Duran Duran I love to say Duran Duran I say it over and over and over again The World Premiere Video is on at eight For a brand-new song called "Union of the Snake" I love to say Duran Duran While I dream of Ms. Pac Man Come on everybody and say Duran Duran with me Duran Duran Duran Duran I went without hot lunch for weeks Just so I could afford that record "Reflex" and "New Moon on Monday" Taunted me on MTV Till finally my mom agreed To take me to Sam Goody and I Saw it shining in its shrink-wrap In the front display it was Duran Duran Duran Duran I love to say Duran Duran I say it over and over and over again The World Premiere Video is on at eight For a brand-new song called "Union of the Snake" I love to say Duran Duran While I dream of Ms. Pac Man Come on everybody and say Duran Duran with me I ran towards my holy grail Past High N' Dry and Back in Black and Just as I was reaching out A voice behind me called my name I turned around and saw her in A Ricky Schroeder t-shirt and She said she wanted puffy stickers But I knew I'd die without Duran Duran Duran Duran Here's the latest on Scott Baio, won't you let me hold your hand? Here's a Ricky Schroeder pin-up, won't you let me hold your hand? I cut up my 16 magazine for you Now loving me forever is the least you can do Give me back those stickers Girls are stupid anyway. I love to say Duran Duran I say it over and over and over again Years have passed and I feel the same Though I never got that record - now I can't recall its name I love to say Duran Duran While I dream of Ms. Pac Man Come on everybody and say Duran Duran with me Duran Duran Duran Duran
8.
You belong On the far side of the mountains In the gold On the line of the horizon You belong In a place where no one goes. Where no one goes. You belong In an unfinished painting Wrapped in plastic Locked in a closet You belong In a place where no one goes. Where no one goes. Drawing you in constellations Scorched in the dirt of a cornfield Pushing the phone into its cradle Again Again and again And I'll never win But neither will you. Every look a domino And every sigh in stereo And maybes dress as hidden yesses Every time you don't say no And everything's obsession When you can't quit cold And everything is muzak When your life's on hold Now I stare at the ceiling And try to tune in To echoes of something That won't come again This is where you belong: Sentenced to one night as me You belong On the floor in the corner Reading this Off an old sheet of paper You belong In a place where no one goes. Where no one goes. Writing our names in the window steam Measuring time in creamers and coffee rings Slamming the door, getting on with our lives Again Again and again And I'll never win But neither will you.
9.
The man with the plan for the band divine He hates Fred McGriff, but he loves Mankind Counterfeiting pennies and laundering your nasty mind He is the man His name is Chris Biscuiti He's Collider's #1 fan Listening to Physics on his headphones in the dark He's a Radiobiscuit and a wrestling mark Clocking more airtime than Doris from Rego Park He is the man His name is Chris Biscuiti He's Collider's #1 fan
10.
Touch 03:23
All the worst days of my life were Laid out in succession throwing 1-2 punches 3-4 punches Knocking me to sleep at night The calendar was bloody And silent as a minefield And when my eyes were closed I saw No less than when they were open And the nightmares were just replays of the day. Then you touch my hand And you pull me back to now And you touch my face and you Separate the day and night The day and night. All the worst days of my life were Crouched in quiet ambush leaving Trembling fingers Bulletshock and Rubber legs Then you appear With chamomile and sugar And you lead with perfect questions and we Talk until we're sleepy but Tonight after I leave you at your door All the nightmares will be waiting up for me. So touch my hand And pull me back to now And touch my face and Separate the day and night The day and night. Touch behind my eyes Sing me lullabys I need you in my dreams.

about

13 songs recorded live to tape in one weekend, under the watchful eye of Steve Albini.

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released July 7, 2011

ESC025

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about

Jed Davis Bristol, Connecticut

Song designer; founding member of The Hanslick Rebellion, Skyscape, Collider; oblivious to genre, trends and the passage of time.

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