1. |
The Cutting Room Floor
02:57
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I fall asleep in my street clothes
With the lights on
And the radio on
I sleep 'til long past lunchtime
I do not change
And I do not shave
Because no one is going to see me today.
I sit and face the computer screen
And no one's on
So I turn away
I play some chords on my keyboard
And nothing comes
So I turn away
And nothing is going to get done today.
This is the part that ends up on the cutting-room floor
Look down, I'm waving to you from the cutting-room floor
I wave until my arms are numb
And the sun goes down
And I fall asleep in my street clothes
With the lights on
And the radio on
I sleep 'til long past lunchtime
I do not change
And I do not shave
Because no one is going to see me today.
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2. |
Before I Was Born
03:32
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The Lord cursed me before I was born
My first cells divide
The program inside was already running
The Lord cursed me before I was born
The choices I'd make were already made
Before I had choices
The Lord cursed me.
He gave me the spirit to never say die
The talent to raise expectations too high
Now nothing's enough and I can't figure why.
The Lord cursed me before I was born
It can't be denied
The pull of the tides, the call of your nature
The Lord cursed me before I was born
My first cells divide
The program inside was already running
The Lord cursed me.
He gave me the conscience to know wrong from right
So the tiniest fuckup would kill me inside
He gave me compassion, then drove me to crime.
The Lord cursed me before I was born
The news from on high:
"Everything that you try will blow up and burn you."
The Lord cursed me before I was born
"In your formative years [He said]
You'll have no idea how to handle rejection."
The Lord cursed me.
He gave me the insight to open my eyes
To know when you're lying, which is most of the time
I prayed for a respite; this was the reply:
"There is no point
There is no plan
Don't even try to understand
You have no rights
You have no soul
You'll take it 'til I say so.
On your knees and open wide."
The Lord cursed me before I was born
His Holy Decree:
"By age 23, your hair will be thinning."
The Lord cursed me before I was born
His Heavenly Word:
"Before you get heard, you'll turn suicidal."
The Lord cursed me.
He made me look normal, so I could fit in
And get close enough to see what I was missing
While all of the bad things that I would become
Were waiting in ambush before I was born.
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3. |
Enough
03:54
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At the entrance to the stairway
That takes me to the 1 and 9 train
There is a sign above an arcade
"TOO MUCH IS NOT ENOUGH," it says
It makes me think of arcades
Of pinball decks and video games
It makes me think of Donkey Kong
The big kids playing Donkey Kong
And me too young to make a quarter last
But watching hard and standing fast
It was then I heard a word I'd never heard before:
The word the big kid playing Donkey Kong said
Every time his man went dead
I asked my mother what it meant
She told me, "Never mind
'Cause bright kids don't use words like that."
And suddenly
I'm seeing things with eyes I haven't used in twenty years
I see a man
His mouth, it cups around a sigh atop these stairs
He knows his train is pulling out without him
Everything's gone on without him
How could he end up like this?
Why doesn't he look happy?
And suddenly
My lips are pursed to shape the air, and out it comes
Out it comes:
A word I'm not supposed to say
I go and say it anyway
I march downstairs to miss my train
And I can't lift my head
To take a last look at the arcade
A bigger, brighter arcade
Than the one where all the big kids played
And said the word
They said a word I'd never heard
They said too much
They said enough
They said too much is not enough
They say too much is not enough
They say enough is not enough
Is not enough
Is not enough
But I say
Man, it is.
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4. |
Let Go
03:37
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In the dark at 4am
With forever on my hands
Things I've lost
Things I've missed
Closed around me like a fist
In a room full of rewards
That I no longer can afford
But I'm shackled to them so
I can't make myself let go
Shifting sands
And crumbling plans
Loaded dice
Deceptive calms
Moving shadows
False alarms
You can threaten me with trouble
You can threaten me with Hell
But I won't be taught a lesson
'Cause I don't believe in Heaven
I don't believe in success
I don't believe in happiness
I don't believe I ever can
In the dark at 4am
Shifting sands
And crumbling plans
Loaded dice
Deceptive calms
Moving shadows
False alarms
In the dark at 4am
With forever on my hands
Things I've lost
Things I've missed
Closed around me like a fist
And I reach beyond my body
And I reach beyond my soul
But I'm shackled to them both
And I want to be let go.
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5. |
Blood
05:05
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Blood
Liquid light
Coat your skin
Slippery skin
Covered
Blood
Cut the cord
Rinse it down
Slap the back
Breathing
Blood
On your palm
On your knee
Through the torn
Cotton
Blood
From your arm
Needle tip
Look away
Stinging
Blood
Soaking gauze
Missing tooth
Under your
Pillow
Blood
Busted lip
Burning ribs
Dusty jeans
Fumble
Blood
On the screen
Slash and scream
Horror
Sleepover
Blood
Flowing through
Every tick
Of a life
Yeah
Blood in a bead on the tips of our fingers
Mix until we are brothers
Now we're in this together
Can't take it back, ever
Blood
Shocking spill
Marking time
For the new
Woman
Blood
On the sheets
Afterglow
Of a first
Passion
Blood
Welling deep
Running free
Far from home
Panic
Blood
Busted lip
Burning ribs
Dusty jeans
Honor
Blood
Underpaid
Flushing cheek
Salty sweat
Wasted
Blood
Slow and thick
Tiny veins
Squeezing tight
Pressure
Blood
On the knee
Of a child
Steady voice
Comfort
Blood
Flowing through
Every tick
Of a life
Listen to it rush
Listen to the sound
Listen in the dark
When there's no one around
Blood in a bead on the tips of our fingers
Mix until we are brothers
Now we're in this together
Can't take it back, ever
Blood in my throat
On my tongue
On my fingers
Sop it up and collect it
Let them bottle and sell it
Now you're listening to it, yeah
This is my blood.
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6. |
Denny's 3am
02:43
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Denny's 3am
Anybody down
For coffee
Dunkin' Donuts
Chinese takeout
Denny's 3am
Everybody in
Mix tape
Music sounds best
In my car to
Denny's 3am
Denny's 3am
Breakfast anytime
Pancakes
Bacon, OJ
Never too late
Denny's 3am
Everybody in
Flirting
With the waitress
Smoking section
Denny's 3am
Sun came up and I would drop you home
Until home was far away
And my car got old and died
Now it makes me sick to find
Our defiant shine
Trapped in
Photo albums
Love it
Miss it
Put it away and move on
Sun came up and I would drop you home
And I hope that you are home
When I ring you up and see
If you still remember me
Like I remember you
In my
Photo albums
Love it
Miss it
Denny's 3am
Breakfast anytime
Meet you
Hold you
Brother
Never too late
Denny's 3am.
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7. |
Interesting Times
04:00
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I'm all but frozen in the train lights
Pinned down in a rising tide
Stacks of bills and unsent letters
Box me in on every side
I'm holding out my hand
But no one takes my hand
While all the things I need just pass me by.
Pick up a shipment of new equipment
I need a car to take me there
I can get it, just give me credit
Pull that money from thin air
Another paycheck in the shitter
Another two weeks down the drain
Another debt of friendship paid in full
Another phone bill paid in vain
Three years and I'm not sure
Just what I bought this for
The only interest I don't draw is yours.
Now this girl is finished with me
That girl thinks I'm insane
Now this girl hates the very thought of me
And all the girls at work think I'm a pain
And my friends sit waiting for the other shoe to drop
And my parents are still waiting for the first shoe to drop
And my brother went away to some university
Now he's got sixty brothers and none of them is me
So assign my number, rip me open
And scar a bar code across my heart
As we march information in tight formation
We're the devil's army, we're the devil's art
If hope is all I have
Just gas me where I stand
Thank God we live in interesting times
It doesn't hear me, it doesn't pay for me
It doesn't hold me or kiss me warm
And though it's always there when I need it there
In the end, it's just a song.
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8. |
Native Son
03:45
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Don't call me your native son
I never lived in this town.
I wasn't alive 'til I left this place behind.
Don't clap me on my back
Don't try to shake my hand
Don't act like you knew it all along.
Everything I did, I did without you
Everything I love is far from here
Everything you think you know is small-town wrong
Do not call me your native son.
Don't call me your ex-boyfriend
You never even called me back.
You told me yourself that we were only friends.
Don't call me your old buddy
Your car was always full
Your table had no seat for me.
Everything I did, I did without you
Everything I love is far from here
Everything you think you know is small-town wrong
Do not call me your native son.
Don't call me your native son
You never took me in.
You snickered when my back was turned.
You never held me to you
You never dried my tears
That's how you love your native son.
Everything I did, I did without you
Everything I love is far from here
Everything you think you know is small-town wrong
Do not call me your native son.
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9. |
I Have A Rose
03:08
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So you sit in your room
Like you never understood that
This was real, time IS real
And it's way faster than you are
So you pull out the box
With the pictures and the letters
Thinking: "Anything is possible."
And it's here, in the last
Of the twilight from the window
Faded down to a dry
Dusty burgundy reminder
Of a time that WAS real
So you touch the only proof you have
That anything is possible
No matter how improbable
I have a rose that she gave to me
Three years ago today
I forgot it was here
Dried up and shut away
In the dark
Buried with a little candle
Burning: "Anything is possible."
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10. |
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It seems to me that Queens is where you go when you’re dead.
The J line: an endless parade of cherry blossoms and graves.
A slow ride that leaves you burned out and thick as a tenement brick.
And I never did appreciate Latino girls the way that I do right now.
It seems to me that Queens is where you go when you’re dead.
The wash lines over billboards for stores that don’t exist anymore.
It’s cloudy, like the factory windows with nothing inside.
And I never did appreciate suburban life the way that I do right now—but I ain’t gonna give up.
This is only the first stop.
It seems to me that Queens is where you go
when you’re dead.
The J line: an endless parade of cherry blossoms and graves.
A slow ride that leaves you burned out and thick as a tenement brick.
And I never did appreciate a friendly face the way that I do right now.
But I ain’t gonna give up.
This is only the first stop.
I ain’t gonna give up—this is the sound of me revving up.
It seems to me that Queens is where you go when you’re dead.
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11. |
Denny's 3am (reprise)
04:20
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Denny's 3am
Anybody down
For coffee
Dunkin' Donuts
Chinese takeout
Denny's 3am
Everybody in
Mix tape
Music sounds best
In my car to
Denny's 3am
Denny's 3am
Breakfast anytime
Pancakes
Bacon, OJ
Never too late
Denny's 3am
Everybody in
Flirting
With the waitress
Smoking section
Denny's 3am
Sun came up and I would drop you home
Until home was far away
And my car got old and died
Now it makes me sick to find
Our defiant shine
Trapped in
Photo albums
Love it
Miss it
Put it away and move on
Sun came up and I would drop you home
And I hope that you are home
When I ring you up and see
If you still remember me
Like I remember you
In my
Photo albums
Love it
Miss it
Denny's 3am
Breakfast anytime
Meet you
Hold you
Brother
Never too late
Denny's 3am.
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Jed Davis Syracuse, New York
Song designer; founding member of The Hanslick Rebellion, Skyscape, Collider; oblivious to genre, trends and the passage of time.
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